I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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