She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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