she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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