Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
