He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
