I hate your face
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
