he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i've created a new STD.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize