I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
