DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
