if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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