Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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