At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This baby is an asshole
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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