No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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