I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
