just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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