just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
