I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
