i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
