I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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