I heard we made out
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
