did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
