just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
