jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
third nipple confirmed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
