He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
