Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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