bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
please don't ironically join a cult
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