i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
