if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
