I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
