This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
