He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
