sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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