Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
