You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize