everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
