Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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