Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Randomize
