I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize