I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
