are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
