Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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