Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
