you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it's great music for shaving your balls
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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