My first STD was from a foam party
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
