You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
