dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
