my sisters under your porch take her home
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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