OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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