I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
