I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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