I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize