Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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