i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
