how can u be prego again
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
