its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
