Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
