i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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